


I'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart.

by Poodle_spit



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poodle_spit/pseuds/Poodle_spit
Summary: Logan Sanders is critical of Thomas life choices. He has a hard time letting go of Thomas dreams after school.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	I'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart.

**Author's Note:**

> No criticism please, I am hyper sensitive lol If you don't like it it's no problem (= but if you DO like it you can give kudos or comments or whatever. I can't edit or break things into paragraphs properly and for that I am so sorry.

When Thomas decided to make YouTube videos his entire career Roman and Patton couldn't have been happier. A job centered around creativity and passion? YES PLEASE! Logan was not so thrilled. YouTube was no more a job to him than Vine was, it was a hobby and having hobbies was a good thing! sure absolutely…but. “Thomas what about your job applications, there’s internships pouring in.” he said holding up the papers. “sure right, I am going to get to them Logic I promise.” he said smiling and taking the paper from him. “Thomas you just got a million followers on vine! You are practically a celebrity now!” Roman gushed. Patton cheered and through confetti “Can you even imagine that many hugs?!” he gasped hugging himself in excitement. Thomas eyes lit up and he sat the paper back down running over and jumping up and down in excitement. “This is more than I ever dreamed of!” he shouted unable to keep the laugh out of his voice. Logan smiled softly and clapped his hands. He loved seeing Thomas so happy. If that many people followed him for his 6 second comedy videos just wait until they saw what he could really do. He smiled wider thinking about Thomas name at the top of news articles about how he found a way to get clean energy for the whole world. Thomas Sanders new botany technique leads to new drought resistant trees. Thomas Sanders responsible for single handedly ending global warming. Was it too early to start writing the Nobel Peace Prize speech? 

“Thomas you graduated one year ago today, You said you wanted to take a year off and that year is up now, I think we should really look into a research lab in Boston because they have the best reputation and they are doing amazing things up there.” Logan informed having taken the liberty of finding the application online for him. Thomas bit his lip and rubbed the back of his head. “wow this year really flew by didn’t it? I mean thank you Logic but I have a lot going on right now, I’m writing my own musical, I have 2 million followers on Vine that are all wanting a bunch of collabs and new material heck I'm even thinking about starting a YouTube channel.” Logan cocked his head to the side utterly confused. “What does any of that have to do with your career Thomas?” “well plenty, for example I can’t just up and move to Boston that’s crazy far away and I already have so many friends here. They are in my videos and we are hanging out every week, I don’t know… I mean Chemical Engineering will always be there, but right now I just feel I need to stay around here.” he reasoned. Logan furrowed his brow, frowning. “Thomas I think you should look at this from a different angle, You could do great life changing things with-” “Hey Kiddo, what are you doing? didn’t you tell Terrence you would meet him for the video at 3 its almost 2:30 and its all the way across town. We need to head out of we are going to make it.” Thomas gasped face palming “Oh shoot, when did it get so late? where are my shoes?” he asked in a panic running off into the living room to look for them. “Thomas!…wait.” Logan tried to catch him but the host was up and out the door before he could even set the papers down. 

Several months later brought about the changing of the leaves and semi cooler weather. Thomas was back home with family for the holidays and the sides LOVED it. Roman always a show man loved socializing and playing pranks with Thomas’ brothers again. Patton adored the nostalgia the house brought back and reminiscing with all the famILY as he liked to call them. Logan…liked the holidays but they were entirely too mushy for his taste, still as long as Thomas was happy he was happy, that was the goal right? He stepped away as the third song among them started up. They were indeed a very…musical bunch. This was more Roman’s scene. 

He made his way down the hallway and into a room he knew all too well. He stepped in and his heart did a little leap as it did every time he came back here. So many nights in here. looking up at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. using the telescope and recording stars in a journal Thomas kept in his drawer. They would pretend they were scientists. 

“It says that some stars are called red giants and some smaller ones are called dwarfs. the hottest ones burn white and the coolest ones burn yellow. huh Logic does that mean the sun isn’t the hottest star?”

“Correct Thomas, in fact the sun is one of the less hot stars, but it is the only one in our galaxy so I think we should still appreciate all it gives us.” He smiled. Thomas grinned. 

“your right, I love the sunshine, I would be sad if it wasn’t here”

“actually you would be dea…you know what, I'm glad it's here too.” he smiled.

“Logic?” 

“hmm?” 

“do you know everything?”

Logan smiled and turned to him. “no Thomas but we can get close to it, as long as you never stop learning I won’t either. we will help each other, deal?” Thomas beamed and hugged him. 

“deal.” 

He walked around the desk and sat down in the seat. He wondered how much homework was done at this table alone? Thomas was not a big fan of homework and having to do it right when he came home was not his idea of fun, but Logan could always manage to bring his spirits up. He was an expert at making up memory games and finding new ways to help give Thomas visuals in math. One of his favorites was using candy for counting in math. The candy also ended up being an after homework treat the two would enjoy. 

He frowned pulling himself out of the nostalgia and wrapping his arms around himself. Fat lotta good any of that homework did him.. nothing they worked on would make him a better Youtuber. Roman could handle that all by himself. Logan didn’t hate the videos, he just didn’t know where he fit in there. 

He turned and shut off the light walking back out into the room sluggishly. They were all still laughing and carrying on just the same as before. He decided to watch from the kitchen instead, just not able to get into the spirit and not wanting to bring anyone down. 

New year, new asperations. It had taken some work but he had found a smaller research lab two towns over and because he knew Thomas didn’t want to be cooped up in a dark lab all day, he had even better news. They had a team that went outside and collected samples and did most of their experiments outdoors! They even went on trips to other countries to study new flora and fauna.  
He would be just like the nature scientists in movies. going to the deepest parts of the jungle, maybe even the rainforest. Thomas had talked about wanting to go to a rainforest since he heard the song Rainforest Rap as a kid. 

“What’s got you so happy today Logan?” Patton asked smiling and drinking his morning coffee. Logan straightened his tie. “Just going to talk to Thomas today about an amazing opportunity I found.” he grinned. “Good for you Kiddo! Is it a idea for another video?” “Nope!” he replied all too cheery sinking out and into Thomas bedroom. “Thomas I come barring wonderful news!” he paused when he saw Thomas and Roman looking sullen and down trodden. “Is…everything alright? are you hurt?” he asked walking over swiftly and bending down. “Vine is gone, the whole website is shut down.” Thomas sighed resting his head on his folded arms. “Oh…I’m so sorry Thomas I know you really liked that website. There will be others though, you still have your YouTube.” “Yeah, but…doing videos that are longer than 6 seconds long just seems so intimidating, especially without Vine to fall back on, what if I cant think of enough content?” 

Logan gave him a small smile. “well I have good news Thomas and a way you can fill your content too.” Thomas cocked a brow. “what are you talking about?” “Ta Da!!!” he grinned pushing the job application, all filled out into his hosts hands. “They are close to prevent home sickness but travel and explore frequently so you don’t get bored. They pay well and the work they are doing to help the environment is phenomenal.” He grinned waiting for Thomas to share in his excitement. He really had outdid himself this time.   
“Oh, Logic I don’t want to think about that right now, I’m sorry its just not a good time. I have a lot on my mind.” he said sighing and handing Logan back the paper. “Wait! I didn’t tell you the best part, They go on trips to the rainforest, as in real rainforests in South America. You love rainforests.” Thomas expression didn’t change. “yeah, I guess I did want to go to a rainforest when I was younger. I-I don’t know Logic there is just a lot happening right now, can’t we give it some time and think about it?” Logan's smile slipped off his face and his brows furrowed. “I’m sorry Thomas, but its been two years since you got out of school I mean…I think we have taken enough time to think things out, don’t you? I must insist we take this opportunity before someone else does.” he urged. “I’m sorry I know it’s taking some time but I just have a lot to think about right now. Now that vines dead I will have to really adjust to YouTube and find new content to make but I have a loyal fan base who will hopefully follow me over there. I’m the Storytime guy after all.” He laughed. Logan didn’t 

“Thomas this has gone on long enough. You’re the ‘Storytime Guy?’ Okay that doesn’t mean anything. You are also a chemical engineer and a very smart person. Now is the time we leave all this silly Vine business behind us and move on to better and more important things. Don’t you want to get started on finding new conclusions and testing new experiments?” “I don’t know what I want to do Logic! I don’t even know if I want to be a chemical Engineer anymore! Everything about it just seems boring now, I found something that makes me happy, why can’t you just let this go?!” Thomas snapped sitting up and glairing at him. Logan stared at him like he just witnessed a murder. He couldn’t be serious…this is all Logan had looked forward to for six years “Y-You don’t mean that. You went to college for this Thomas, I know your videos are important to you but so is your education right?” Thomas rolled his eyes. “look college was fun but its over now and I found a new way to support myself. I never expected to be doing a job like this but now that I am I want to give it a real shot.” “So school was a waste then? all for nothing?!“ ”No!, I really and truly did think at the time that I wanted to do that, but I don’t know, I just did some soul searching and found out I wanted something different.“ “So you are just giving up on science and trading it in for social media?!” “Logic that has already happened, you just haven’t been ready to see it. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to do that anymore. Next to acting and collabing and making music…that other stuff just seems…boring.”

Logan sat back rocking on his heels and becoming very interested in the ceiling and trying to make the stupid lump in his throat go away. “Logic I’m sorry I-” Logan snatched the paper back up and sunk out, not letting him finish and definitely not letting them get the satisfaction of seeing the tears steaming down his face.   
He gritted his teeth in frustration before he began ripping up the paper into a million shreds and throwing them all over his room. Raking notebooks off the desk and ripping down his posters and degrees. His chest was heaving and he couldn’t stop his body from shaking as he finally collapsed on the carpet sobbing. 

“Oh god I hope I studied enough! that test is going to be super hard!” “not to worry Thomas we went over the material thoroughly and you are well prepared” “thanks Logic!” Thomas waved before running off to Physics. 

“Good job Thomas, You did so great Honey!” “I can’t believe I won the whole science fair! Everyone in the grade entered!” He said excitedly from the back seat looking at his medal. Logan sat next to him grinning like crazy. He knew Thomas would win they had spent weeks working on it. “Congratulations Thomas I knew you could do it.” Thomas put his hand over Logans. “We did it.” he clarified. Logan smiled like a maniac the whole night. Proud as ever.

Logan couldn’t breath. The tears wouldn't stop flowing and his body wouldn’t stop shaking. He curled up on the carpet and just let it all wash over him. It was his fault for getting his hopes up really. This is what comes from getting emotionally invested in things…and people. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What is up everybody! wow another year come and gone, but I did so much this year it is crazy. I guest starred in a Disney show and went to Vidcon, won a Streamy award and tons of other cool activities. You might think I would be looking to take some time off after that but you would be wrong. I have so many cool things coming up, Logan do you want to tell them about a few of them?” Thomas asked pointing to him. Since they had been introduced as part of a series on Thomas channel called Sander Sides he had been a bit more involved with the videos. Not a huge part to play and more often than not he found himself used as more of a walking talking day planner than anything else.

He plastered on his fake smile and pulled out his notebook. “On the second of next month you are going to a convention and doing a meet and greet in New York. Every other week this month you have new collabs and you are scheduled to make more content for your second channel later this week.” He said putting away his book. “Thanks buddy!” Thomas said before his attention was once again pulled away to something Roman was saying to Virgil. The audience did so love their witty banter. He remained quiet until the video was over while Patton defended Virgil telling Roman not to be so mean to his ‘favorite precious sunshine’ Logan opened his mouth to say something to Roman about a fact he was just plain wrong about, but before he could utter a sound Thomas was wrapping up the video with his Hello Fresh sponsorship. Logan sighed and bit his lip, looking around before sinking out, back to his room. Quiet, alone and not in the way. Just how everyone wanted him to be.


End file.
